Love & Tidying
It’s the month dedicated to LOVE, so I thought no better time than to delve deeper into a question that pops up repeatedly. It generally revolves around a loved-one’s organization habits and often sounds something like this:
“My partner / roommate / family member is so messy. How do I get them to get organized?”
Can you relate???
So, how exactly do we get the love + tidying to harmoniously intertwine? Here are my tips for helping bring a sense of organized bliss when you and your loved one don’t quite see eye-to-eye on clutter:
Start with the one person you can control: You. Before we can expect others to be at a certain organization level, we gotta start where we have immediate impact — over our own items! Start joy-checking your personal items first. Give all your items homes and practice tidy reset habits. When you do this, YOU will start to feel instantly happier, lighter, and more free — and a halo of happiness will start to envelop those around you. Leading by example and being a radiant result is living proof of the power of organization. This will lead to an interest from household members. Tidying is contagious. People will take notice. Inspire with your own action!
Share your vision with each other. Everyone has their own opinions of what “organized” and “clutter” looks like, as well as their own preferences for storage styles. For example, one person may love having all the T-shirts in the drawer color-coded, while the other person is just as happy with all the T-shirts in one spot, regardless of color order. It’s important to be able to communicate and understand each other’s vision, so that compromises can be found. This will also help with managing expectations and is a great opportunity to also discuss ideal lifestyle visions and explain why and how getting organized will help everyone in the home.
Allow each person responsibility for their personal space. While merging lifestyles happens, make sure that each person feels empowered to organize their personal space however fits them best*. Have your own side of the closet, your own room, your own drawer, etc. This will also allow you to manage and organize your items in the way that makes you feel happiest.
*For younger children, set guideline boundaries for this.Agree that shared spaces should remain clutter free. While each person can organize their own personal space to individual preferences, it should be everyone’s responsibility to keep shared spaces tidy. Shared spaces are areas like the living room or kitchen; spaces that everyone inhabits. When the entire household contributes and engages in Team Tidy resets together, the home can become a space that everyone is proud to take care of.
Shift your mindset. Don’t let feelings of frustration around organization cloud your loving feelings. Shift your mindset to gratitude and focus on the things your partner/roommate/family member does do. Play to your strengths when it comes to assigning tasks. For example, my partner hates folding the laundry while I hate scrubbing the bathroom. I am so grateful he is willing to do that part! We each focus on the areas we enjoy, or if I’m being honest…what we hate the least, ha!
And a final tip to consider —An outside party can take the stress out of an overwhelming process. Sometimes, it’s easier to tidy and declutter your items with a neutral, outside third-party. Because, truth be told, sometimes the same message hits different when it comes from someone outside of the situation. If that’s the case, working with a professional organizer can help do the heavy lifting that can be emotionally-straining on relationships.
Ultimately, if you are the one who enjoys “organizing” more, you’ll naturally end up doing it more than others in the home. However, the goal isn’t to get to 50/50, 24/7 in tasks. It’s to get to the point where the home supports everyone and everyone can live peacefully together with joy.