Did Marie Kondo really "give up" on tidying?
Does the KonMari Method® still work if you have kids?
The News:
Have ya’ll heard the news? If you’ve read the headlines lately, you might have seen headlines saying that Marie Kondo has kind of “given up” on tidying now that she has 3 young children. This admission has sent shock waves with people declaring that Kondo is a fraud and interpreting that to mean that her method doesn’t work. But, is this actually what she’s saying? I’m taking a deeper look beyond the headlines:
Ideal Lifestyle Evolution
The KonMari Method® is about creating a more joyful life and it starts with identifying your ideal lifestyle. Your ideal lifestyle will evolve over time — similar to how you evolve! Not only physically (we outgrow our clothes as we gain height), but also mentally (we outgrow hobbies or even habits). Think about it — did you want the same things when you were 10 years old, as you did when you were 20 years old or 50 years old? Do you have the same priorities, routines, and desires pre-parenthood as you do after kids? Or how about after the kids have grown up and you’re retired? The truth is — our lifestyles change as we enter different seasons of life, and so our vision of the “ideal” at that time will naturally shift, too. (That’s where saying “thank you” to those past parts can help us embrace where we are now!).
So, when MK says that she’s “given up” on keeping her home tidy all the time, she’s essentially acknowledging that her “ideal lifestyle” has changed with the addition of children; it’s changed how she spends her time and how she expects her home to be during this season of life when her children are so young.
The KonMari Method® often cites examples of how MK lives her life. But, what we need to remember is that this is an example of her ideal lifestyle — not the only way to live for a joyful life. For example, I personally never empty my purse every day (an MK suggestion); instead I have a “home” for my everyday purse and that is joyful enough for me.
The KonMari Method® compass is joy — not a static, pinterest-worthy perfect photo. And as a human being, that means finding the balance that is just right for you.
What’s the point of the KonMari Method®, if the kids are going to mess up the house anyways?
Bottom line: The KonMari Method® is a framework for going through your stuff through the lens of joy. This system of going through your items works for all ages. What it is not? The KonMari Method® is not a miracle solution for a perfect tidy home 24/7/365. That requires habits of maintenance — and these habits are much easier to build when you’ve completed the KonMari Method’s full Tidying Festival (gone through EVERY SINGLE ITEM in your home). The method is about allowing yourself to let things go with gratitude, too. When every item has been intentionally kept and been given a home, picking up a messy space or pile is going to be soooooo much faster. (Gone are the days of dedicating an entire weekend to tidying before guests come over!) Living the KonMari Method lifestyle, also means that as a family you are practicing tidy habits together that will benefit your kiddos as they grow into adults. In the end, you’ll save time, energy, mental load, and be able to more clearly prioritize and spend time doing what’s most important and joyful. So, I encourage you to embrace the KonMari Method® lifestyle and mindset — with or without kids!
Embracing the Mess, not the Clutter
I believe there is a difference between “messy” and “clutter.”
Messy is a temporary state, whereas clutter is not. For example, let’s say you have 50 articles of clothing neatly hanging in your closet. Each one has been intentionally kept and given a home within that closet. Now, if you took all those 50 articles of clothing and threw them haphazardly onto your floor, bed, and surface areas — I’d say you have a MESS, not clutter. The room got messy, but because you know where everything goes, it won’t take you too long or too much energy to tidy up. On the other hand, when a room is cluttered — you’re not sure what’s in the piles or where they go.
The KonMari Method® gives you a step-by-step map for conquering the clutter. So when your home gets messy, it is manageable and not overwhelming. And I think that’s what makes MK’s attitude shift relatable — she is able to embrace the messy moments of parenthood (and life) because she has already cut her home’s clutter. 🏡✨💛… and as the video above says, “Good for her!” 😊