Saying Goodbye to Gift Guilt

Letting go of Unwanted Gifts (and the guilt!)

“Rare is the gift-giver who wants their gift to be a burden on you or your home.”

- Joshua Becker

The situation:

We’ve all experienced it. A loved one hands you a beautifully decorated gift that he or she has picked out just for you. You open the gift and your heart sinks. It’s a lovely gesture to be sure, but you know instantly you have no use for it or even want it. But, you say “thank you”, take it home, and then mindlessly stuff it in the back of a drawer or closet…because GIFT GUILT is FOR REAL!

Letting go of the guilt:

The best way to let go of the guilt is to remember the purpose of the gift. Gifting is the action of showing someone you care and the purpose of the gift is to bring its recipient joy. No gift giver wants to burden their recipient or to create feelings of stress with their gift. Separate the gifting action from the physical gift. We can love and appreciate the gesture, while also being OK with letting the gift go. We can separate our love for the gift-giver from our love of the gift.

Ask yourself:

• Do I love it?
  Awesome, keep it and use it.

• Could someone else love it and appreciate it more than me?
  Donate to a friend or re-gift it.

• Is it worth the space it’s taking up?
  Remember, your home and mind space is precious real estate ~ keep only what serves you.

• Is there a charity or cause that I could support by donating this item?
  Bless it forward to an organization you care about or support your local Buy Nothing Group neighbors.

But…what if someone asks about the gift?

Let’s turn the tables: Have you ever asked about a gift you gave? Do you remember every gift you’ve given? When you give a gift, do you want your recipient to keep the gift no matter what?

OK, now that we’ve thought about the likelihood of this coming up (and hopefully, it has lessened your fears…) 😉

Here are a few ways to answer, if this question does come up:

• “Thank you so much for the gift! I really appreciated it, but it didn’t quite work out for me. So I have given it to someone else who can benefit from it.”

• “Thank you so much for the gift! I’m really trying to have less stuff in my home, so I’ve blessed it forward.”

• “Thank you so much for the gift! It no longer works in my home, so I’ve given it a second home.”

Any variation of the above, works too!

How to get “wanted gifts” and less stuff

• Share wish lists with the gift-giver! Be direct about what you’d like. (Tip: Amazon makes sharing wish lists easy!)

• Request experiential gifts or gift cards

• Suggest doing “Secret Santa” - this limits gifts to 1 gift and makes shopping easy

• Gift card white elephant with a set amount (my friends and I did this — it was easy and everyone got something they’d use!)

• True white elephant - everyone brings fun re-gifts or second-hand gifts

The only obligation you have...

The only obligation you have as the gift recipient is to say “Thank you.” After that, the gift is yours to do what is best for you and your home 💖

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