How I'm using KonMari® for Wedding Planning
(AKA how I'm staying sane!)
I had this paralyzing, stressful feeling.
You know the one? The feeling that comes from facing a huge undertaking.
You know it’s going to be amazing in the longterm…but right now, all the things to do, the decisions to be made, the time to invest…seems daunting and entirely overwhelming.
Helloooooo, Wedding Planning.
When I started thinking about wedding planning last month ~ it became very stressful to me. And I realized that this overwhelm I was feeling was very similar to the the overwhelm we often feel around our CLUTTER & clearing out our STUFF. The thought of doing it was anxiety-producing, and I was caught in a kind of rabbit-hole research mayhem that kept me busy, but not producing any results. The results in this case, being: decisions being made, forward momentum.
I thought to myself, could the KonMari tools help me get organized and moving forward? Enter the tools of organization ~ KonMari style! And I realized that these organizing tools can make wedding planning joyful + fun, too!
KonMari Tool: Define Your Ideal
We start the KonMari Method® by imagining our ideal lifestyle. This vision is the guide in our decision-making process. Similarly, my partner and I imagined our ideal wedding and thought about what was most important to us. These elements became our guide in making decisions on what parts of our wedding (and budget) we wanted to focus on. After many conversations, the themes that emerged were: simple, genuine, and fun details that are uniquely “us” sprinkled in. Getting clear on “what might be nice” vs. “what is essential” is very similar to joy-checking.
KonMari Tool: Follow the Checklist
A road map is very helpful when you’re working towards your goal. Similar to how the KonMari Method® has a category checklist, so does wedding planning. Lucky for me, my friend gifted me the Ultimate Wedding Planner & Organizer binder from The Knot. So thanks to its “Wedding Planning Timeline” checklist, I had a rough estimate of when I should do what. However, their checklist used generic month guidelines (i.e. 12+ months before, 9-11 months before, 6-8 months before), which meant I needed something a little more concrete for my own calendar. I believe The Knot app (free) has a digital checklist that allows you to personalize dates and deadlines, but I’m a visual paper-and-pen kind of gal when it comes to huge projects, so this was my system:
Visual calendars
First, I printed out a single-page 12-month calendar for 2022 and then a a single-page 12-month calendar for 2023. This allowed me to see at a glance how many months out I was from our wedding date. I found the free calendars to print on Calendar-12.com.
Second, I went to my Google Calendar and created a new “Wedding” calendar. I keep my fiance in the loop with wedding-related events by including calendar invites there.
Then, I printed out each Google Calendar month. Each month, I display that month on a clipboard for fast access. I then use sticky notes to call out specific tasks as reminders.
All calendars not currently in use are stored in my wedding planning binder. I also designated a notebook that was exclusive to all wedding planning notes. Keeping everything together and in its “home”, makes staying on top of everything a lot easier.
KonMari Tool: Sort it and Break it Down into Smaller Piles
In the KonMari Method®, we take everything out so that we can joy-check it. You’ve seen the huge mountain of clothes! But, when the huge mountain of clothes feels too overwhelming, I advise sorting the clothes into smaller piles of similar items (i.e. a pile of dresses, a pile of pants, etc). So, this is what I did next — took my huge pile of tasks and then sorted the tasks by month.
To do this, I started a Word doc and listed out all the months. Then, underneath each month, I started adding in the relevant-to-us tasks that were in the “Wedding Planning Timeline”. I also added in my own tasks under the month I wanted to complete it. I used the timeline as a guide, but made my own deadlines based on what I felt could be accomplished.
When I was done sorting all the tasks into a month, I had created a roadmap with mini monthly goals clearly outlined. I was ready to rock! And it felt amazing to cross completed items off my list!
“As fast as possible, get the first 80% done. What is counterintuitive, is the faster you work, the less effort it actually takes to complete a project.”
KonMari Tool: Commit and Create Momentum
You know that old saying that says the work expands to fill the time available? This is my personal challenge: I can get stuck in research and analysis paralysis — and there are a lot of decisions to be made in wedding planning! But, by giving myself a time constraint, I’m able to concentrate on completion instead of perfection, and I start cranking things out instead of it looming over me in what David Allen, author of “Getting Things Done”, calls an “open loop”. And similar to how completing different stages of joy-checking & organizing feels SO GOOD because you feel motivated with progress — I started to feel that euphoric feeling of progress and an accomplished sense of control, too!
KonMari Tool: Set Boundaries
You can keep researching all the ideas or “follow” many knowledge experts, but eventually you actually need to start taking action. Too many options can feel overwhelming and I believe there is such a thing as “clutter of ideas” or “clutter of options” — and it is NOISY! Here’s how I set my boundaries and am curating my team of experts to help guide me in my decisions:
As tempting as it was to join ALL the wedding planning social media groups, I decided to join only one on Facebook (Something Borrowed, Something New). It is a gold mine of info and referrals from helpful brides and vendors.
I am enlisting friends to share parts of their wedding planning process and tips with me. (Friends who recently got married are especially helpful when it comes to budget costs, new vendor options, and DIY craft ideas that might not have existed years ago).
I am setting boundaries — and am ruthless in editing options. I am making it a priority to only choose a handful of vendors or options, and then committing to only choosing from those options — instead of adding more and more options into the mix. This is similar to setting a physical boundary for your stuff (i.e. deciding to keep only 1 storage box for Sentimental items). I did this when shopping for a wedding dress and picking a hotel block — and it worked SO well! (And made things far less stressful!)
I am also planning on hiring a Wedding Coordinator for additional support to help me cross the goal line. (Very similar to hiring a professional organizer for accountability!).
Everyone’s advice is to listen to what you and your partner really want the most. I believe that means protecting yourself from the noisy clutter of opinions and the never-ending possible options. And this is where I believe that vision of an ideal wedding will be our guide in reminding us.
While we are only in the early months of wedding planning, I have no doubt that I’ll learn a lot more and things will change. But, my new mindset and reframe moving forward: Wedding planning is fun! And the best part, is I get to do it with the best guy 🥰
